When Life Gives You Lemons vs. Empire Strike’s Back

Vader: Obi Wan never told you who gave you lemons!
Skywalker: He told me enough! He said LIFE gave me lemons!
Vader: No. _I_ gave you lemons!
Skywalker: No… that’s not possible!
Vader: Search your feelings, you know it to be true!
Skywalker: That’s IMPOSSIBLE!
Vader: Join me, and together we can make Lemonade and rule the galaxy as father and son!

Top 5 Things Women Don’t Get About Goodfellas


1) Yes, all Italians do share a single genome and are all spawned from the same husk-cluster.

2) No, they are not all just whispers of past beings reliving their lives in a diminished world below consciousness, tormented by an eternity of pointless violence. They are ‘goombas’.

3) Yes the car has a name, and no it’s not “Car”. It’s “Kelman.”

4) The scene where Henry Hill is in court and stands up and starts talking to the audience isn’t actually in the movie. It only thinks it is, and we allow it to think that to keep it docile and controllable.

5) It’s about loyalty and violence. The progenitor’s requirement of pure loyalty is secured through the spreading of his flaps and the spraying from his glands. The Liota character receives the spray, and his unique response creates the ‘drama’ of the film. The character’s actions are a single long seizure, caused by rejection of the spray. Thus, he is a “goodfella’.



I’m sick of answering these questions.  Over and over. Deal with it, women.

New Comedy Special on Vimeo – Rubberhead

Comedy outfit JASH brings you their vision of the perfect comedy special: Rubberhead.  It’s a variety show hosted by Sarah Silverman, featuring comedians that she thinks are hilarious.  There’s no filter, no censorship, no network notes, just raw, unfiltered hilarity from the comedians she’s working with.  And I just happen to be one of them.


I’ve got a video in there with Nathan Fielder, and I think it just might tickle your fancybone.



Now Magazine Reader’s Choice – Best Male Stand-Up, 2014

Readers of Now Magazine have declared me, of all people, to be the best (male) stand-up comedian of 2014.

They have also declared my little troupe of pals, Don’t Get Bored of Us and Leave to be the best sketch troupe of 2014.  (Tom Henry @thegreatgatsby, James Hartnett @jameshartnett, Aaron Eves @aaroneves)